Healing from the abuse of someone in your life with Borderline Personality Disorder and/or Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a very painful process. Not as painful as being abused is, however. It is a necessary though so that your mental and physical health is not diminished and negatively effected. So many loved ones or family members of those with BPD and/or NPD are in so much pain as the result of the level and frequency of abuse they are on the receiving end of from these personality disordered people in their lives.
The stress that this causes so many is just too much. The pain is often almost beyond description. Caring and loving someone who can't care or doesn't care and doesn't know what healthy love is can be so painfully exhausting that people feel like they are losing themselves. No one can meet the demands of those who have not learned to be aware enough of how they effect others to get the help they need to change that. Only people with BPD and/or NPD can work toward that change if they are truly committed to doing so - you can't lead them to it, you can't hope they will if they don't see the problem.
Have you ever asked yourself why you remain in such an abusive and painful situation? What is keeping you there? Love? You may well love this person in your life but all you end up doing is trying to give to have what you give not be "good enough" and to have what you give not ever returned to you in any reciprocal or mutual healthy adult way.
You may understand from an intellectual perspective what I am talking about here, of course. You are living this right? However, I'd like to point out, as I do in the video, that for loved ones of the personality disordered, intellectual knowing, or rational thinking can't touch the emotional pain you are in. It won't make your emotional pain and dilemma as to decisions you need to make any clearer or more possible.